The Interview Game

I've been on so many interviews, it's almost become a hobby to me.  Some people play D&D.  For some its World of Warcraft.  For me, it's the Interview Game?  Yikes, I need to get a life.

I'm not the only one to make the comparison.  In fact, CBS decided the comparison was too good to resist.  Hence they decided the world needed a new elimination-style reality game show, The Job.  Just like every other elimination-style reality game show, The Job is degrading, artificially-constructed, overly-dramatized, with fake premises.  Oh, wait, interviews are like that, too (only without the horrible beating heart drama music).

Here's how The Job worked (past tense, because it appears the show was cancelled after two episodes.  You weren't missing much if you didn't catch it.):

1. Introducing the company and the interview panel.  Of course, for a TV show, the interview panel is made up of VPs, GMs, CEOs, and anyone high up in the company who thinks their sparkly blue eyes will look good on TV.  In reality, the candidate is expected to research the company on their own time, and (unless you're vying for some super high up position) you will be interviewed by supervisors, managers, maybe a director, and possibly even peers.  Sparkly blue eyes that will look good on TV are not expected in a real interview.
2. Introducing the candidates.  Everyone in reality-TV has to have some kind of back-story, which is mentioned in the voice-over as they walk onto the stage.  In the first episode candidates included the vegan, the widow, and the cancer survivor.  In real life, not only do you have no idea who you are competing against, you also would never even think about walking into a room announcing, "Hi, I'm Jann, and my husband died!"
3. Introducing the other companies.  This is supposed to be "the twist" to add TV drama.  There are representatives from three other companies sitting off to the side watching the proceedings.  One of those companies could decide they want to hire one of the candidates.  Gasp!  There could be a bidding war!  I don't need to tell you that in the real world, this is never going to happen.  Adidas and Nike are never going to sit in the same room and interview the same set of candidates for the same position.
4. The first elimination round.  Ah, yes, reality TV must have elimination rounds.  The candidates spend time in the work place, and are given "challenges" to occupy their time.  There is a version of this that can happen in some interviews.  I've been asked to provide my feedback of embroidery samples during an interview for a Color Designer position, follow the instructions for sewing the applique and flap of a handbag for a Production Sewer position, and take a series of color tests for a Color Analyst position. Thankfully, if you fail one of these interview tests, you do not have your foibles discussed on national TV, nor do you have Lisa Ling insincerely proclaiming, "Whew.  That was hard!"
5. The questions, another elimination round.  Each remaining candidate is brought up to the interview panel one-by-one and given a set of three questions related to the company, the position, or the industry.  You would NEVER get these pop-quiz questions in a real interview.  "What two ingredients go into Simple Syrup?" "In 2012, Brad Pitt became the first-ever male spokesman in ads for what classic brand of perfume?"  Really?
6. False drama time!  The company writes the name of their favorite candidate on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope.  Oooo, the suspense!
7. The Pressure Cooker Challenge, another elimination round, and another attempt at putting twist into the drama.  In the second episode, the Pressure Cooker Challenge was to point out the error on the cover of sample Cosmopolitan covers.  I'm of the opinion that the interview in and of itself is the Pressure Cooker Challenge.
8. More false drama!  The other companies are given the opportunity to try to snatch one of the candidates.  I would love to have multiple companies fighting over who gets to hire me, but in real life, this is never going to happen.
9. Now they get to the "interview" where they ask each of the two remaining candidates one question.  Since when does the interview only have one question?One important difference between reality and reality TV- apparently the producers of The Job do not need to obey hiring laws.  One of the contestants was asked if she was really prepared to relocate for the job since she is a single mother of six questions.  This question is illegal.
   
10. The Decision.  This does happen in real life, but not in front of a live studio audience. 

The whole interview routine drives me crazy, as does the popularity of reality TV (in case you haven't noticed).  The system is set up to reward those who are good actors, the best at hiding their flaws, and maximizing their assets. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a new hobby to pursue.  It's time to sign up for some acting lessons.